Self-love
Self-love is not separation from others, but healthy differentiation within relationships.
Psychotherapy and counseling
12 steps to self-love
A structured 12-week process that supports understanding patterns, processing the past, and integrating new experiences.
You can usually expect a response within 1-2 business days.
+386 51 866 334 · reply within 1–2 business days
Safe relationshipCompassionate approachLjubljana + online
About the process
The process is developmentally structured: establishing safety in relationship → contact with the body → capacity for dual awareness (past vs. present) → understanding experiences in light of the system you belonged to → understanding defense mechanisms that no longer serve you → releasing the past → integrating new experiences → looking forward, oriented toward acting in contact with yourself and pursuing goals aligned with your values.
PHASE I: SAFETY AND AWARENESS (weeks 1–3)
- Week 1 – Establishing a safe relationship
- Week 2 – Understanding distress (meaning and context)
- Week 3 – Regulation and contact with feelings
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Through awareness and processing patterns and emotions, the past is integrated and a new sense of self is grounded in the here and now. This deepens authentic contact with yourself and restores the awareness that, regardless of what you have lived through, you have the power to choose — to choose change and a life that reflects who you truly are and what you desire. Only in the present lies the power to do things differently. The body always speaks the truth and is always present in the current moment, which is why our work, whenever possible, begins with present experience and life situations you are facing.
PHASE II: REVEALING INNER PATTERNS (weeks 4–6)
- Week 4 – Origin of the story
- Week 5 – Defense mechanisms
- Week 6 – Guilt and shame
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The ways we enter and build relationships are often connected to what we learned in our primary environment. Past, especially painful experiences repeat in later relationships because they are familiar and offer a chance to resolve old wounds. Understanding the past and patterns is important for a more empowered present and future. Defense mechanisms once saved your life and deserve understanding, not judgment. Through psychotherapy we become aware of defensive structures that helped us survive painful experiences; over time, in new circumstances, these defenses no longer serve us and instead hold us back. Through psychotherapy we recognize our defenses and develop more effective ways of functioning. Guilt is a signal — it can be healthy or toxic. Healthy guilt leads to repair in relationship. Toxic guilt maintains shame and captivity.
PHASE III: INNER RELEASE (weeks 7–9)
- Week 7 – Forgiving others
- Week 8 – Forgiving yourself
- Week 9 – Differentiation
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Resentment keeps a bond with pain. Forgiveness is a process of liberation, not an excuse for harmful behavior. Every person is part of a system, yet no one is obliged to live against themselves merely to belong. Self-love is not selfishness, but a condition for healthy relationships.
PHASE IV: INTEGRATION AND DIRECTION (weeks 10–12)
- Week 10 – Building self-love (boundaries, self-compassion, turning toward yourself, reshaping identity)
- Week 11 – Transcendent goals
- Week 12 – Integration and transition
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In the final phase we consolidate new experiences, strengthen self-compassion and conscious boundary-setting, and direct energy toward goals that reflect your values. The process concludes with integrating change and preparing for continued independent growth.
How to begin
Call, use the contact form, or send an email.
Receive a reply with suggested next steps in 1-2 business days.
In the first session, we clarify what support you need most right now.
The act of revealing oneself fully to another and still being accepted may be the major vehicle of therapeutic help.
When you are ready, I am here.
The first step is not a commitment to long-term therapy - it is simply a space to ask questions and orient yourself.
Ask about enrollment